I have thought long and hard on the questions you have raised . . .

. . . and I believe you may have a very valid point. We have indeed strayed from our stated goal of ASPEN EXTREME, but perhaps not so far as to render the dream unattainable. I have spent much of the last hours poring over a procured copy of the script from that cinematic masterpiece ASPEN EXTREME, and believe that I have managed to resolve at least some of my current misgivings, and would hope that they might help to soothe your own. I will attempt in this post 1) to answer your concerns, and 2) provide a framework by which we may hope to re-align our current actions with that most outstanding of films, ASPEN EXTREME.

As per your first concern, I am in complete agreement. A hostel is not in any way, and can not even be comparable to, a caboose located in a picturesque locale next to a babbling brook. This we must procure immediately, as I feel it is central to our goal of realizing ASPEN EXTREME. In addition, we must also locate and procure 1 (one) old black typewriter, such that we may put ink to page in a vain attempt to convince the editors of Skiing magazine that our pieces are worthy of publication, only to be rejected time and again, as that most impressive of instructors, T.J. Burke, does in that 1993 epic depiction of ski bummery, ASPEN EXTREME.

The next 6 (six) of your concerns must be grouped under the general heading “Non-Adherence to the Script.” I am in complete agreement. While these activities have been most enjoyable, in my careful perusal of the script of that most inspiring of films, ASPEN EXTREME, nowhere did I come across specific mention of the activities of which we have been undertaking. This is a serious charge to level, and one which we must put at the forefront of our concerns. We have indeed strayed off course, but not in the fantastically awesome we-don’t-follow-your-rules way that T.J. Burke and his replacement ski partner do in the “Perfect Tracks” competition in the rockin’ climax of that most impressively radical film, ASPEN EXTREME, thus causing the third judge in the panel to award them a fourth additional 10 , to break the tie with the evilly antagonistic ski team who had previously held the lead with 3 (three) 10s. No, my friend, we have strayed more in the way that Dexter Ruteki, that comically fantastic instructor sidekick of T.J. Burke’s, does when he is taken advantage of by the gang of coke dealers in that lovely slopeside town of Aspen, and is discovered by that most outstanding example of ski instructor-hood, T.J. Burke, running naked down a snowy road after messing up a coke deal and being beaten by the irate cocaine gang.

I feel that to rectify this mistake, we must both put all of our thoughts and concentration into a more strict adherence to our sacred text, the script of that masterpiece of plot and execution, ASPEN EXTREME. As such, I have taken the liberty of printing, laminating, and binding two complete copies of the script for our reference. You will find yours located on your bunk in the hostel, which we must, in the name of ASPEN EXTREME, vacate on the morrow. Following this most important of first steps, I suggest that we then obtain for inspirational purposes the following items:

• 1 (one) Genuine Movie Poster from the 1993 classic ASPEN EXTREME


• 1 (one) DVD of that fantastically outstanding film, ASPEN EXTREME


• 1 (one) copy in CD format of the soundtrack to ASPEN EXTREME. (In the case that there is no actual professionally produced soundtrack to the film ASPEN EXTREME, anything with long, wailing electric guitar solos will suffice)
  

In addition, I propose nightly progress meetings, in which we can discuss our feelings re: achievement of our long-standing goal of ASPEN EXTREME. With these small operational changes, I feel that between us, nothing will be able to hinder us from realizing the dream that is, and always has been, ASPEN EXTREME.

- posted by Micah @ 8:14 PM