Packbacker
CONTACT INFO: If you'd like to contact either Tyler or Micah, our email addresses are tyler.valiquette@gmail.com, and micahdelfino@gmail.com respectively. Also, look for us on MSN Messenger, as we're on frequently.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
DISCLAIMER: The following story is of a childish nature, and should not be viewed by anyone over the age of 10. If you wish to continue reading, be thee fairly warned.
The Worst Shit Ever
As mentioned in previous posts, last weekend we went to Arenal, and passed the evening at Tabacon hot springs. While there, as also previously mentioned, Tyler and I indulged in a number of refreshing drinks. Those drinks were Gin and Tonics, and that number was more than is probably good for us. Regardless, at one point in the evening, we retired to the mens room to unburden ourselves of one of those drinks, and upon completion, were both standing at the sink beginning to wash our hands.
While we were in the process, a gentleman whom I did not see (mostly because he was something of a blur), ducked into one of the stalls and hurriedly shut the door. This was followed by the sound of the toilet lid slamming upward, and then the somewhat frantic scrabblings of hands at belt. Suddenly, the entire bathroom shook with what may well be the loudest and longest fart I have ever had the misfortune to bear witness to. The sheer volume of it made me wonder just where a normal person could store so much gas. Tyler and I exchanged horrified looks, followed by absolutely paralyzing laughter, which was all the more difficult being that we were laughing silently, so as not to embarass the poor chap.
The thunder gradually subsided, but this was merely to be the opening volley in what was to be a long and protracted war. This first explosion was followed by a series of progressively smaller, but significantly wetter detonations, one after the other, in rapid succession. Tyler and I, being children such as we are, continued to laugh uproariously but absolutely silently, now doubled over and in abject pain. This dreadful concert continued for literally a minute (which can be verified by the fact that even through my laughter, I finished washing my hands, staggered over to the paper towel dispenser, and not once, but twice operated the machine and dried my hands).
During this whole thing, the guy in the stall was strangely silent, but at this point gave a small grunt, which was what finally pushed me over the edge. I let out a strangled yelp, which was all that I could manage being that my entire body was seized into a crippled, hunchbacked mass by laughter, and this sound simply opened the floodgates for Tyler and myself. It was no longer possible to contain the laughter, and he and I tripped over each other in our scramble to exit the bathroom as quickly as possible.
I am certain that the gentleman in question has never before, and never will again, experience such a humiliating spectacle as having to listen to us cackle like schoolboys while he went through what must have been the worst shit ever.
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